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Tuesday, February 10, 2015

50 Shades

Inquiring minds want to know... I haven't read the books. What is your take? Is it realistic? Fill me in.

Friday, April 25, 2014


Well I disappeared again. I know, I am great at that. We worked everything out, reincorporated dd into our marriage and then got a huge surprise.


Baby number two is growing in my belly. What a surprise for both of us. We hadn't planned this (and were taking measures against getting pregnant) but are overjoyed none the less.

Please keep us in our your prayers and thoughts.

I've been writing up a storm and trying to decide if I have the right amount of self confidence to try to publish dd novels.

Monday, January 27, 2014

WOW! I suck

I have gotten horrible at actually blogging on here. I think it is honestly because I forget about this blog. I wish the notifications would come to my regular email address. I have been without a computer for a couple weeks. See, we bought a puppy. And said puppy ate right through my computer cord. Being that I use a Mac, it was an $80 computer cord. Le sigh.

There really isnt a lot to write about dd right now. Not for lack of wanting, desiring or trying but lack of contact. Yes, you guessed it, Matthew is gone again. However, he will be home in a couple weeks. Thank goodness. A puppy and a toddler together by myself is a bit trying- more so when the toddler is teething molars and I am in a location where I dont know anyone that I really trust to watch him so that I get a break.

Don't forget about me... I haven't forgotten about you. In fact I have written many dd chapters in my head that I am sure my readers will love. Just to get them from brain to screen now.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Holiday Craziness!

I am sorry I have not been around much lately. The holidays are super crazy around here especially with a little one. Things have been so much better now that we have reincorporated dd in our lives. Structure and accountability. I have also had my birthday since our last blog and I really had a good time. Just spending time with my family is wonderful. I look at my son and everyday thank the Lord for him. He is bright, amazing and loving. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love watching him grow and explore. He is so smart, beyond his age already and a bit feisty. Watching his aw at the Christmas decorations and watching his eyes grow at the site of the newness in every day activities just makes my heart happy.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Checking in ;)

I really need to get back into the hang of blogging. Thought I would check in with everyone and say “hello”. Life has been a bit crazy here. This is the season (and wedding season in the summer) that photographers are the busiest. To top that off having a one year old and a husband in the military can make for hectic chaos. I know the holidays really stress me out and I can be a bit cranky and anxious. Another good reason to have dd right now.

Well my husband has come home and been home for over a week now. In that time I have been spanked twice. He has been very thorough and consistent. After our son goes to bed at night he will spank me in the basement where he can’t hear us. I’m actually relieved to be back in this dynamic. I feel it has opened our communication up again and it has given him the freedom to tell me he isn’t happy with my behavior without me biting his head off. I think deep down I really wanted it back but at the same time was afraid to reinstate it, especially with a child in the house.

I hope everyone had a blessed Thanksgiving with family and friends.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Here goes nothing...

Well. I did it. I agree or consented to bring back dd into our marriage and my husband returns very soon. He is quite happy and sounded relieved to hear that. As part of reincorporating it into our marriage I asked for help with some things that I need addressed. It was SUPER hard to do it but I did. This is what I asked him to help me with:
 Ive really sucked lately taking my depression medication. Its been like a week... and I get super anxious and grumpy without it. ( I was diagnosed with PPD after my son was born. The medication is a small dose but it enough for it to make a difference in my day to day activities)

Sleep- I've been giving our son a bath around 715 and putting him to bed by 8. He wakes several times. If I can get to bed by 11 that would be awesome. Except, I havent been getting to bed until after 2. I need time to edit and work on business stuff but not getting sleep is killing me energy wise

Health- I REALLY need to lose weight. I spoke with our OB and she said she isnt comfortable with us trying to get pregnant and maintaining one this heavy.I need to drop at least 25lbs. So I need motivation to eat better and exercise. Soda limited to three a week and things like that.

I haven't gotten a response yet but I think these are all important aspects that I need to be accountable about.

Also, we have had many discussions about communication and respect. We want to get our marriage back to where it was and not have as much tension in it.

I joked around with him and told him no spankings for a week or I wont pick him up from the airport.

He said that was a no go. ;)

I am super anxious and nervous about the first one. It has been years. 

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

O'Brien Family Ch. 2

As the adrenaline fled from Connor’s body it was replaced with a bone weary exhaustion. The ups and downs of the night: from executing a high profile warrant during a dangerous sting, being shot, a visit to the hospital and finding his disobedient wife still awake was enough to exhaust any normal man. Yet, Connor was the type to administer swift justice. It didn’t sit well with him to wait around. Deal with the issues as they come and not let them pile up was his mantra.

Michelle finished cleaning up the spilt coffee and headed into the guest bedroom. There, in the corner, was a decorative stand. On the stand was a silver platter that held two items; an antique hairbrush and silver hand mirror. The set had been picked up on a vacation trip to Maine a few years past. The heavy brush had become quite familiar with Michelle’s bottom since the purchase had been made. Michelle was often tempted to throw the brush in the fireplace but knew that it was replaceable.

She went into the bedroom and found that Connor was brushing his teeth. He had stripped down into a white t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants. She looked at her handsome husband and for the billionth time couldn’t believe he was with her. In his early 40’s he looked a decade younger. Years of Marine Corp experience disciplined his body. He continued to uphold those standards still and his body delighted her. His hair was not as short as when he was a Marine by any stretch of the imagination but it was professionally kept and his face was clean shaven.  She smiled at him, almost shyly, as she admired his frame.

He pulled the toothbrush from his mouth and said one word, “corner”. She sighed. It wasn’t often that he had her stand in the corner, it wasn’t there thing. From time to time she found herself standing there though, often it was when he wasn’t ready for her yet. She dutifully moved into the corner. Connor had demonstrated a long time before what would happen if she disobeyed him, especially during punishment. Connor finished getting ready for bed and walked out of the bedroom. He fetched the desk chair from the office and brought it back into their room and sat it next to the bed. 

“Come here sweetheart.” His command was without the normal force. Michelle could hear the tiredness in his voice. She walked over to where he was still standing next to the chair. He embraced her in a hug and gave her a kiss. He needed that as much as she did. He then sat and he pulled her to sit on his left leg looking at him. “What time did Sean go down tonight?” He asked her.

“Around seven thirty.” She replied
“And how many times has he been up and when?”
“He woke around nine crying. I nursed him and gave him some Tylenol. He woke again around eleven thirty and I was able to get him back down after rocking him about twenty minutes.”
“So, you had approximately three hours after bedtime to get some work done” He stated, “And we hired a morning mother’s helper so that you could get a block of three hours in the morning for work as well, correct?”

“Yes.” She said.

“Did Sean take his normal afternoon nap? How long did he sleep?”

“About two and a half hours.” She muttered. She knew exactly where he was going with this. He had given her the opportunity to excuse her behavior some, but she had no excuse.

“Last week when we set your bedtime together I made it very clear what would happen if you disobeyed, didn’t I?”


“Would you like to try that again?” She saw the raise of his eyebrow.

“Yes sir.”

“We agreed that midnight was more than fair, Michelle, especially with hiring a mother’s helper to come into the house and play with Sean in the morning. You and I came to an agreement. You about collapsed from pure exhaustion. You can’t take care of others, or your business if you can’t take care of you. How late were you planning on staying up?” Connor was nothing if he wasn’t thorough. Sarcasm was a defense mechanism, one that Michelle had been trying so hard to overcome, but at the moment it just sort of came out of her mouth.

“Well, if you hadn’t come home early, I wouldn’t be in trouble.” She regretted it the second the words were out of her mouth.

“I see.” His tone was steel. “I came home early because I was shot…” Her mouth opened but before she could say anything he raised his hand telling her to stop, “I was shot but I am fine. It ended up in my vest. I was going to call you from the ambulance however, I thought you were being a good obedient wife and were fast asleep and didn’t want to wake you. I had planned on crawling into bed next to you and cuddling. Imagine my surprise when after a stressful night this is what I came home to. Perhaps, you should have been more concerned with taking care of yourself then hiding your disobedience.” Connor pulled Michelle off of his lap and pulled down the shorts she was wearing. He moved his left leg up and positioned her body over it, trapped her legs with his right one. This was a dance as familiar to him as lovemaking. He knew her reactions and as such anticipated them.

He rubbed her bottom with his large, work worn, rough hands. He raised his hand and let it fall on her right cheek, then her left, then her right again. The volley of swats came crashing down, one after another. It was silent but for the sound of skin hitting skin for the first couple of minutes. Michelle had her phases she went through during discipline. Sometimes she would get through each one quickly, other times it was dragged out. Connor’s intimate awareness of his wife allowed him to judge when she was ready for the next stage.

He must have reigned down a hundred hard swats with his hand when Michelle finally responded. She started to wiggle and kick. She started to protest and cry out.  It was then, and only then, that Connor reached over and grabbed the hairbrush off of the bed. He didn’t miss a beat.

Michelle squealed when the brush crashed down on her already reddened bottom. The change in the pain sent her hand back to defend her poor derrière. “Put that hand back where it goes Michelle.” Connor punctuated the command with an extra hard swat. Michelle obeyed, both hands going flat on the floor in front of her, her hair swarming in her face. She wished she had pulled it back with a hair tie. That thought was super brief as the hairbrush came down quickly covering every inch of her bottom. She wiggled and squirmed from side to side, begging Connor to stop.

Connor knew she wasn’t there where he needed her to be yet. The past few days had been tense with her. She had started to bite his head off over small things and he knew she was past due for an attitude adjustment. He also knew deep down she was hoping to get caught. Connor shifted his leg, lifting her bottom higher and Michelle leaned on her forearms. She knew what was about to happen.

“Baby pleases!” She cried out, “I will listen! I won’t stay up again!” He steeled himself against her cries and brought the brush down sharply right below her reddened cheeks, on pure white flesh, where the leg and buttock met. He swatted her sit spot on both sides for a minute before returning to her butt. He made sure that her entire bottom and down to the very top of her thighs was red and hot.

He felt her let go of the fight, felt her body relax, felt the sobs build and finally release. That was the point where he slowed down. It had taken way longer tonight then it had for a while and he thought about having to reinstate weekly maintenance spankings.  He spoke up, “Michelle when we make a rule together, especially when it is made together, I expect you to follow your end of the bargain. I don’t take lightly to you disobeying and I especially don’t take lightly to you breaking promises” He continue to swat, slowly, as he spoke. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes Sir!” she gasped out. He moved her back down and put the brush on the bed. He wasn’t quite done yet. He always finished her discipline with his hand. It reconnected them. He lifted his palm and flattened her bottom with it. A few more hard swats and he was done. He pulled her up and into her arms, careful to move her so her bottom was not in contact with his thighs. He wiped the tears off of her face and kissed her forehead, knowing how much she loved those types of kisses. She knew she was forgiven and that it was over.
“I have tomorrow off because of the shooting. I’ll take Sean duty in the afternoon so you can catch up on work at the studio.” He said rubbing her back.

“About that shooting…” Michelle said

“I’ll tell you all about it over breakfast in the morning. Let us go to bed.”