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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Spanking= Spam

Just a quick FYI. I accessed my email account and was surprised that I havent received any new emails for awhile. Turns out the word spanking some how ended up as a spam filter... so I havent gotten anything from anyone if that word was used... considering its my spankedarmywife account I find it humorous!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Action packed dreams

I am on complete pelvic rest. This means no sex or anything of the type. Poor husband. He comes home from a year away at war, gets me pregnant, complete pelvic rest. We miscarry, pelvic rest continues. Have sex once during the month of October, get pregnant again and again no sex for him. Our OB joked that we should put a sign on all of his cups, “Caution overly fertile.”

I share this because before this pregnancy I never had sexual dreams. Not ever. For some reason this pregnancy I have been having quite a few. It will make sense after I explain my most recent dream.

The star of my dreams recently has been John Wayne. Right. John Wayne. I am not sure why but he has been my leading man in every dream.  A young John Wayne mind you.

Last dream I was married to him and we were out riding our horses in the woods. We stopped by a stream and was having a picnic. I pushed him into the stream and we were both playing around and laughing. Suddenly, a man raced by on horse followed by ten other men. He was a criminal who just shot the sheriff. Of course my husband, John Wayne, took off after him and told me to stay there.

Of course I didn’t. After the bad guy was handed over we took off back through the woods. Suddenly, he was pulling his horse over. Pulled me right off my horse and went to town on my bum because I had disobeyed him. Went to town is mild. He lifted my skirts, bared my butt and brought his hand down hard, again and again. Turned my bum red, and then purple. I was begging him to stop, promising forgiveness and he just kept lecturing. When I was in a crying mess begging for forgiveness he started kissing me…and well, I woke up and told my husband that John Wayne is getting more action from me then he is.


Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Bring Him Home Santa

Last Christmas I spent missing my hero, my husband as he fought in Afghanistan. Not every soldier in his unit came home alive, not all came home with all their limbs, and none of them came home exactly how they left. The memories and effects of war will linger forever. It is an event that can’t be undone. The twelve months they spent out there changed them all, little or big.

Some of the daughters and sons of our brave warriors will never have a Christmas with their daddy or mommy again. Santa can’t bring them home.

This year, like last, there are thousands of American and allied forces fighting for their lives and our freedoms over there. While I am beyond grateful to finally have a Christmas with my husband! I can’t forget those who will be spending it alone, thousands of miles from home.

So, please, keep our troops in your thoughts and prayers. A special thank you to the little ones who wait bright eyed for their parent to return stateside, and those, who will never get another Christmas on Earth in their arms. Gone but NEVER forgotten. 

Dear Santa, I need to change my Christmas list
There's one big thing I missed
You see my Daddy's working for away from here
And I know Santa, I asked for a Barbie doll
And a brand new soccer ball
But I'd trade it all, for just one gift this year...

Bring him home Santa, bring him home to mom and me
Let us wake up Christmas morning, and find him standing by our tree
You can pick him up on your way, he could ride there in your sleigh
Don't make him spend Christmas all alone
Bring him home

And Santa, here's a picture that I drew
Of him in his dress blues
Mama says our country needs him over there
And you know Santa, this whole year I've been good
And I was hopin' that would
Do all you could to answer her prayer...

Bring him home Santa, bring him home to mom and me
Let us wake up Christmas morning, and find him standing by our tree
You can pick him up on your way, he could ride there in your sleigh
Don't make him spend Christmas all alone
Bring him home

Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home

Friday, December 16, 2011

Totally Random Updates

When we were in the hospital last week and found out about the loss of the twin we also found out that I have a subchoronic hemorrhage. From what my OB has told me and my own research, this blood clot is rather common and will either go away on its own or will cause a miscarriage, early preterm labor or other complications if it grows or doesn’t go away. I would do anything to not have any more complications! For the most part she put me on bed rest, limited walking, and no exercising or lifting, no sex, no baths.  (Shhh don’t tell Matthew but I think I miss my warm baths more than the sex haha). I have been trying really hard not to worry about it.

I recently went back to college after a seven year break. I had finals the week we found out we lost our twin. I thought I was doing fairly well. I knew I had three A's out of five but was waiting on two other grades. One of them I was so angry with, although, it was my fault for not paying attention to detail. The class a 400 level one, consisted of one paper and two test. I received a B on the first test, I had doubted myself and gone back and changed a few answers and an A on the final. I have NEVER gotten less than an A on any paper in my entire life. Well, I got my paper back and it was an 80%!! I was shocked. The prof said that the content was impeccable and it was well written, however, since my font type and size was wrong he had to deduct one entire page. It was a five page paper. Each page was worth 20%. I have an Apple and when I use word it automatically types it in cambria. Well, I have this same prof in another class (another 400 level) where we had eight papers to turn in. I received a 100 on all eight papers, and a 101% (attendance was 1% extra credit if we didn't miss a day) overall in his class. I turned in several papers to him in cambria. In this specific class he wanted times new roman with a 12 point font. Since I turned it in with cambria and it was exactly five pages he couldnt guarantee I would make the page cutoff and thus deducted an entire page from my grade! I was so upset. I couldn't believe he was so picky in one class and not at all in the other!! Anyway, I ended up with a B. 

I received my grades today and had four A's and 1 B. My overall GPA is a 3.8 I also made the dean's list. I guess I can be satisfied with that.

Matthew was gone for the last week so Ive been on bed rest, alone, with two big dogs in a three story house… with no dog food or groceries. Well I had to go get dog food (I cant believe we didn’t check that before he left) and I had enough groceries for breakfast and lunch, but ordered delivery for dinner. I ordered enough for a couple days each time so it ended up only being three times that I had to order delivery. Funny story, he’s home now, flew in late last night, had today off and we still don’t have groceries. We had Mexican (even though Im Italian and he’s Irish I swear we are having a Mexican- Chinese baby. If we are what we eat…) for dinner last night and today for lunch he asked what I wanted and was shocked when I said McDonalds.

I haven’t had McDonalds in well… years. I lost 75lbs last year and I had cut all fast food out of my diet. But yesterday while waiting for him this guy was eating McDonalds fries and needless to say the smell stuck with me. So, we got McDonalds. Don’t worry I ordered apples too! He had to run into work to do some paperwork but I know we are getting groceries tomorrow. Tonight we are going on a date night. The doctor mainly wanted me to stay off my feet and I convinced Matthew that there isn’t much difference in sitting at a table at home for dinner and sitting at one out, or sitting on the couch and sitting in a chair watching a movie. Really Ive been stir crazy sitting in my house for a week and I refuse to ask for help and because of that I couldn’t do anything about the build up of dog hair, dust, dirty clothes etc so I didn’t have anyone over. Been rather lonely. Im feeling up for it and promised him if I didn’t I would let him know.

I am so paranoid about our appointment on Monday. Four out of our six miscarriages we found out at the ten week appointment that the baby had slowed growth, the heart rate was too low to sustain and we were going to miscarry... which always happened, normally within three weeks, and once sixteen weeks later! With all of my previous miscarriages the hcg wasn’t doubling right and this time it did, and with all of them the h/r was always low to begin with but this one was 167 at 8 weeks. So, Im hoping since this one has been radically different everything is going to be ok. But, with the subchoronic and the loss last week and my history Im very scared. To be honest I don’t think I can handle another miscarriage. I already feel like I’ve bonded and grown to love this baby so much and it would devastate me, Im not sure I could recover again... or I would want to. I’ve been doing a really good job not thinking about it and being calm and peaceful but every now and again the fear pokes in.

So, that’s about where I am right now. I had a crazy dream last night that included spanking… I think Ill blog about that separately. I’m sure it will get a laugh or two. I know I giggled this morning.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Vanishing Twin Syndrome

Yesterday I was bleeding pretty bad and cramping. For the past three days Ive been in a lot of pain, shaking, weak and just not right. I went to the E.R. last night, not our normal but the closest and to make a long story short found out we were carrying twins. The reason my HCG had tripled instead of doubled in the beginning of the pregnancy was because there were two babies.

The second baby, like my previous miscarriages, was not developing on schedule at all. So when we did the ultrasounds he never showed up. The reason I was cramping and bleeding was because I had a hidden twin inside.The syndrome was killed “Vanishing Twin Syndrome.” I had never heard of this before.

The other baby is doing good. I am eight weeks today but he measured 8 weeks 2 days last night, had a heartbeat of 167 and an hcg of 92,000.

It was very bittersweet. I didn’t know I was carrying twins and finding out the same day I lost one was hard. But we have had no live births and we really want a child, so knowing the other baby is currently happy and developing well is very good news. Bittersweet. Still praying very hard for this baby! Id love to have a healthy baby to finally hold in my arms.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Good News Today :)

Heart beat increased 3 beats a day like they want. Bean measured perfectly and so did the sacs. Been released from my fertility specialist back to my OB. All the blood work was perfect so my next appointment (fingers crossed nothing goes wrong) is Dec 19th. Three weeks away! Thats the most time Ive ever had between appointments! I hope I can stay sane! Doc said everything looked perfect :)

Saturday, November 26, 2011

E.R. Visit

Went to e.r. due to pain/Spotting. Baby measured 6weeks 1day. Heart rate 105bpm. The E.R. doctor said that's a little too slow, the E.R. nurse said it was WAY too low and to expect to miscarriage. They found 3 large cyst and prescirbed full pelvic rest and as much bedrest as possible. Follow up ultrasound Tues with our fertility doctor hoping for higher heart rate. Although the charts I've seen say 90-110bpm or some say 103 or higher at six weeks, I thought maybe 105 was ok?! 

So now we wait and see what happens on Tuesday. 

Friday, November 25, 2011

Spank the Turkey!

If we all received spankings for over eating or straying from our diets, I think all of us spanked wives in DD blogmosphere would be posting about lasts nights spanking...

I hope everyone had a safe and happy Thanksgiving and black Friday if you ventured out.

I am going to try harder to write more. There just has been very little for me to blog about in the past week. I am keeping up with many of your blogs and do plan on following up the award blog.

I also mistakenly used this email address to set up a vanilla forum account! When I lost my password for that account (I had it so cookies always logged me in, somehow cookies got cleared and I couldnt log in!) I had to email the moderator to get the password. When she said she sent it to spankedarmywife@gmail.com I about lost it. I hope they dont google that account! It was a military forum site, man will I be outed then!


P.S. If you have emailed me recently I apologize for not responding. I was hacked and my email password was changed. I have set up a cell phone number associated with the account, have full access to it again. It was rather weird, whoever did it did not email anyone nor delete any of my emails (unless they were new.) I know it wasn't Matthew so I am a bit befuddled by it.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

*PHEW* What a scare

Note: I do not use the military health care system. I chose to pay a copay instead. Military healthcare almost killed me, literally, when they sent me home after my appendix had ruptured on a Friday night to see my primary care physician on Monday. Three hours after I was unconscience in my house. Had a friend not stopped by I would have died- my appendix had then burst. In addition we have at least TWENTY friends who have had similar things happen. I cant tell you the number of women we have met whose birth records for their babies have had wrong info (wrong dates, wrong weights, wrong GENDERS, etc) because of military hospitals. There are some good doctors out there and some good clinics HOWEVER, because military dependents and military cannot legally sue the military hospitals there isnt the checks and balances that there are in a civilian world. When I talk about my medical care it not military.

My hcg levels have been doubling, sometimes tripling, wonderfully. Two days ago while shopping there was a very obnoxious child who was slamming his cart into random people's carts. He slammed his into mine, pushing mine into my stomach. (This is before I watched what he was doing and saw him do it to at LEAST three other women.)

I know I have tons of cushion surrounding bean and that I shouldn't have worried. But, being the highest risk level for pregnancy and having had as many losses as we have, I did. Yesterday morning I had a follow up hcg and while there asked my doctor (I have a team of fertility doctors. A fertility specialist and an OB just for starters. The blood draws are at the fertility specialist officer, done by a nurse, and processed there in the same office. No lab. I get the response in two hours. He only takes 12 cases at a time, he doesnt take referrals from anyone but his specific team of doctors, to use him you have to meet this LONG list of requirements so his phone never rings more than once, the entire staff knows you and your case intimately.)

Anyway, he came out of his office while I was getting my blood drawn and asked how I was doing. I told him about the cart. He said, lets do a pelvic just for peace of mind. We do. He can easily feel my left ovary and it is pretty swollen so he decides to do an ultrasound. Remembering I am only five weeks (barely at the time) pregnant he tells me not to expect to see much of the pregnancy.

What we do see is a lot of fluid. He worried that the pregnancy was ectopic, or that a cyst ruptured, or that something had happened to my ovary/tube. He was pretty sure it was a cyst but with my history didn't want to miss anything. So, he sends me to our hospital E.R. for a second opinion "just to be on the safe side" and because two of the members of our team are working on call there for that time period.I get to the E.R. there is a wait but not for me, a doctor is waiting at the desk for me and escorts me straight to a bed!

From there I had vitals, blood work, and an IV started. Two bags later (the external ultrasound needs a full bladder) I am being wheeled down to the state of the art ultrasound center they have.

Not only were we able to see a gestational sac but also the fetal pole! She zoomed in and we were able to clearly see the rounded part, the skinny worm part, and the tail end. It was pretty exciting to be able to see that much that soon in the pregnancy. No heart rate yet but it is too early for that.

We were also able to see that the ovary that released the egg that is now bean left a huge cyst that ruptured inside. My doctor said I have the biggest pain tolerance he's ever seen in a woman! Natural birth should be no problem lol. It wasn't even bugging me, just a bit tender.

(No the cart did not cause it to burst. The cart caused the initial exam which led to finding the cyst.)

The other good news is that my HCG level went way up to over 4400!! It is advancing just the way it should.

My specialist is amazing. He showed up to the E.R. fifteen minutes after I did and stayed the entire time, was there for the ultrasounds, consulted with the teams of doctors and didnt leave until they came in and discharged me. Well, actually, he discharged me but we had to wait for the nurse with the paperwork. The E.R. doctor said it is rare for doctors to do that.

Matthew was a bit disappointed that I didnt think to ask for the ultrasound picture of bean, I was so worried and anxious at the time I didnt even think about it. We are reallllly hoping this is the one, the baby that sticks. We are hoping when we go in for the follow up tomorrow doc has them. We are having a follow up U/s on Monday as well.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Cautiously Optimistic!

My hcg on Tuesday (four days before my period due) was 72. When we went in for the follow up HCG on Thursday (two days before my period) we were told that below 72 Im miscarrying and between 72-143 it would be an unviable pregnancy because it did not double and above 144 viable. All of my pregnancies have started with low hcg and often they halved instead of doubled. 72 this early is high for me (but good) it was 38 same time last pregnancy. Anyway Thursday my hcg was 267. It almost tripped!!! My fertility specialist was very happy with it. I am on progesterone now and we go back Monday. Before I am five weeks pregnant Ill have five blood test and if Monday is good (1068 or higher would be perfect) we will have our first ultrasound as well. Prayers and positive thoughts are much appreciated!

Weve always waited a year between miscarriages. This time however, we were told that you are more fertile after a miscarriage and that after a D&C your uterus walls are thinner, which makes implantation easier. So, we took the advice and got pregnant again. Its hard, I am not sure I was quite healed from our last loss. 

To the comment about asking my doctor about spanking: I wouldnt even begin to know how to ask that! He'd doesnt know we practice DD.

Also, yesterday I picked Mattehw up from the airport. It was great having my Iraq and Afghanistan war veteran home for Veterans day from yet another mission! 

Every veterans day I think about my time in the Army and my wonderful battle buddies, the friends I lost to the wars, and the closeness you get with your military family. 

I am so thankful to the men and women who have sacrificed everything, who wrote a blank check to the American people ready and willing to lay down up to their very lives for all Americans to be free and safe. To all the US and Allied forces, and their families, who sacrifice so much, Thank You. Gone. But NEVER Forgotten.

RIP Evan, Jessica, Shane, Matt, James and the many others who have gone before and will come after you. 

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

PREGNANT!! Yes, again

Normally we have a year between each miscarriage at least. But, our fertility doctor had said that after a D&C is a good time to try again. The idea is your walls are thinner and the implantation can get deeper.

We will be four weeks Thursday. Today our HCG was 72. Thursday in order for them to think it is viable it needs to be 144. Please please send good vibes that it is 144. Weve been trying for years for a baby and every time we have miscarried. :( Matthew is 30 and I am 28, soon to be 29 and really want to start our family.

Also, can anyone give us DD advice during pregnancy. Did you get spanked while pregnant? If not what method did you use? How did it work (both sides) with pregnancy hormones?

Saturday, November 5, 2011


Several of you have read my Josh & Becky series.
And many have read my Trainer series. Both are extremely popular on Fet and on Spankingclassics.com

I would like to start writing spanking fiction again. But, Matthew says I should write them as books and sell them online.

Any idea what website would be the best to use for this? How to do this? Is it a good idea? Do you think my spanking fiction would sell?

Thanks for the advice!

Survey (Stole from P)

What is your screen name?   Jess or Spanked Army Wife

How long have you been practicing TTWD?  Over a decade

What is your astrological sign?  Sagitarious

In what part of the country do you live?   Colorado

Do you have children?   nope

Do you have grandchildren?   nope

What is your favorite color?   Red, blue, green 

What is your favorite day of the week?  Saturday 

Morning or Evening?   Neither. Im good with both

Favorite TV Show?   Anything law enforcement. Blue Bloods, Third Watch, Law & Order SVU, Criminal Minds etc

Favorite pro sport?   All of them! I'm a Chicago fan

Favorite Ice Cream?    I love ice cream. Right now probably pistachio! 

Person from Blogland you'd like to meet?   There are soooo many. Ive been wanting to meet B'Man and Sugar for a long time. C&E. The entire crew from learning dd.
Person from Blogland who makes you laugh?   Most of them do
Person from Blogland you identify with the most?    Stormy
First person who welcomed you to blogging?    Oh goodness its been ten years... 

Title of your first blog entry?  TTWED It was a post I wrote back in June 2003

What are you wearing on your feet right now?   socks

What are you listening to right now?    Criminal Minds
Chocolate or Vanilla?   Always chocolate
Coffe or Tea?   Both! I have coffee every morning. I love hot tea before bed or at Chinese restaurants and love love ice tea and old fashioned sweet tea

Favorite non-alcoholic drink?   Sweet tea

Favorite alcoholic drink?  cranberry vodka 

Favorite vacation spot?  hmmmm this needs further research ;) 

Favorite Holiday?   WINTER!! I love all the holidays in the winter season :) Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines Day, My birthday =)

Favorite season?   Oh I LOVE the seasons. Probably fall. I adore the colors of fall

Place you want to visit?   Ireland and Italy 

If you had to start all over again, would you still choose TTWD?   ABSOLUTELY! 

Best piece of advice you can pass on about TTWD?
TTWD has to be defined individually be each couple. NEVER say NEVER. Evolve with it, grow with it. Make sure you have OPEN COMMUNICATION. Communication in TTWD is absolutely fundamental. Take it slowly- dont jump in feet first with a three dozen rules. Make sure you both have the same expectations and realistic goals. Don't romanticize dd and expect it to be the sudden cure all for all your marital woes. If you spank without talking I firmly believe it wont do any good. You have to both be on the same page, have the same goals, and want what is best for your family and marriage. What works for one couple might not work for another. BLOG! Or get involved in the online dd community. It is so great to find an online mentor, to talk with others that TTWD. Be flexible.