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Sunday, June 19, 2011


Well. He’s trying. That is all I can ask for. Our last conversation was on Thursday. Some back story: recently I have struggled with some mild depression which has caused some anxiety and the doc has recommended finding a therapist. In addition, I haven’t had my teeth cleaned in over a decade (just had my wisdom teeth pulled) because of a really bad dental experience I had. Now, I am very very good at dental hygiene. Floss, brush, rinse etc. But recently I have been having some pain issues with a couple cavities that I am sure I have. In addition, I had to have emergency oral surgery to have impacted and infected wisdom teeth removed. 
When this happened the dentist told me I had four cavities from teeth that were pushed up against the wisdom teeth and I wasn’t able to floss around. The surgery ended up being very dramatic and reinforcing my views on dentist (two years ago) but in the last two weeks Ive had a lot of tooth pain and made the mistake of accidentally mentioning it one day on the phone. This was halfway through our phone conversation today:

“Did you schedule your appointments like I asked?”                             

“um.” Silence


“Well not exactly.”

“What does not exactly mean?”

“No. I didn’t schedule THOSE appointments.”

“If I get home and those appointments are not scheduled you are going to be in big trouble, do you hear me? I will schedule them for you, and then we will waste some of our block leave vacation time at the dentist and the therapist instead of on vacation. You will be visiting them with a sore butt. Do I make myself clear?”


“Yeah? Jessica.” Warning tone

“Yes Sir.” Grumbles.

“I don’t understand why this is so hard for you. You are normally spot on with these kind of things. I know you are scared of going to the dentist but we talked about coping techniques and anxiety meds. You really need to get this taken care of.”

“I know. But I did get my transcripts ordered for going back to school, and I took the dogs to the vet, and I…”

“Those are all good things Jess, but they weren’t on the to do list for Friday where they? In fact since you ordered the transcripts online you could have done that yesterday or today. I want you to call the dentist tomorrow and call tricare about a mental health referral.”

“Yeah yeah. Ill do it.” Yes, my tone was dripping with attitude, call it a defense mechanism. I was a bit shocked that he was following through, he is really bad at following through. This is a good sign that he meant what he said about wanting this and trying harder, a really good sign. But, at the same time I am skeptical, Im trying to lose the skepticism.


“I will! Can you just shut up about it and talk to me about something else now?” I couldn’t believe those words came out of my mouth. Even with everything that has happened in our marriage I never disrespect him like that, never. He couldn’t see through the phone or he would have seen my eyes widen and my hand clamp over my mouth. There was a silence and then,

“Go get the soap.”


“Go get a bar of soap.” The tone didn’t really offer much of an argument but,

“are you serious?”

“Dead. Let me know when you have it.”

Let me tell you that it didn’t taste good at all. I had to hold it in my mouth and listen to him explain why I needed to make the appointments, when I was going to make them, and then how disrespectful sassiness was not going to be tolerated, before he let me spit it out. THEN he wouldn’t let me rinse until I repeated it all back to him.

It’s a start… =)


kiwigirliegirl said...

Hi Jess, Yes, its a start :) so thats all good. keep us posted

Anonymous said...

He sounds very authoritative and reasonable...hope it works out:)!


P.S. I'm relatively new to blogging. I'd love to have you check out my blog.

This is She. said...

Yay for domliness! Down with soap =/


CedenoGems said...

Good deal. That is awesome!!!

Anonymous said...

My husband loves to use soap for cursing. But not the bar. He likes the foam pump. Three pumps in the mouth and then swish until he says enough. YUCK.

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