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Thursday, July 14, 2011


I'm just having a shitty night. I know its stupid but I just go through phases where I convince myself my husband is going to leave me. Not because of anything Ive done just because I dont love me and I dont get how others can love me. Im scared to death that one day he will wake up and realize he doesnt love me after all. Blah. This makes no sense but I needed to vent. Its been a few days since Ive heard from him and Im being insecure tonight.

A good thing: I broke out of the 160s. I bought three dresses yesterday a 6, 8, and 10. Ha! It was so weird to buy dreses in that wide of a spread but I have rather large breast still. 

When he left a year ago I was 230. Today I am 158. I went from a 20 to an 8. And still going. That is a small accomplishment anyway.

Another good thing: Going back to school. Ive been accepted into the social work program.


kiwigirliegirl said...

firstly and foremost congratulations on your weight loss - what an awesome achievement. Well done yu should be very proud of yourself - i know exactly how hard it is.
Secondly - why oh why would your husband want to leave you - he loves you, you are kind loving, dedicated loyal submissive, a wonderful caring loyal wife.
Chin up not long till he is home love and hugs xxx

Audra said...

CONGRATS!!!!!!!! That is awesome!!!!!! Remember he loves you! You are a gem and he is very lucky to have you! You are almost there only a week left right til he comes home? Crappy nights happen! I had one too;( blah!

Hang in there!!!!

Kay said...

I'm so sorry you had such a crappy night. Hold on a little while longer...You can do it, better days are almost here. Congrats! Losing that much is not little, it's a HUGE accomplishment! I'm sure your hubby is so proud of you and planning ways to show u when he gets home, LOL! ;) And Congrats for getting into a social work program! If you need any help or advice, feel free to email me any time: kayandjay4ever@gmail.com. I have an MSW and did very, very well in school. :)

The Marine's Wife said...

The weight loss is amazing. I have insecure nights, too, and for the same reasons. I hope it passes soon for you.

Ashley said...

I can't imagine having my husband gone all of the time.....hang in there! Both of my brothers were over seas and it felt like forever.....there wives thought so too but the are all back together again and doing great. Good job on your weight loss...so inspiring and I bet your hubby thinks you are sexier then ever!

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