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Sunday, July 3, 2011

Clarify...

I think some of you think we are just starting DD. Let me say this, we arent. We have been living DD on and off for eight years. Large periods of time on, and then off, then on and then off. This isnt new to us.

Also, EVERY one of my relationships since I was 16 have been DD. I had two long term, great, DD relationships. So, I am not a novice.

However, I believe that DD evolves with a couple, that every couple and pair are different, that everyone has different challenges, insights and goals within DD. I dont think that DD is the same for any two people and that each couple has to find their own route and their own expectations.

For us DD is mostly about strengthening our relationship, bringing order into our home, and having a way to deal with conflict in a healthy manner. It is about opening communication, trust, and an outlet for stress. It is about forgiving and not holding onto things.

We arent beginning this journey, we are continuing it and getting over a recent hump and moving past it. Regaining balance. That is the goal for this round. Figuring out how to maintain DD without any more stops and goes. Ups and downs we can handle together, the stops and go routine is not something I can emotionally handle.

In order to do that we both have to communicate more. I have no doubt that I married a spanko, none, or an ass man, or an alpha male, one who can meet my needs as I meet his. I know he is weak where I am strong and I am weak in his strengths. We really are a ying yang couple that balances each other perfectly.

I cant wait for him to be home.

5 comments:

kiwigirliegirl said...

thats such a good post :) thank you for sharing. Do you have any advice for beginners - or a beginner like me trying to get her man into the idea of discipline - where one minute he seems AOK with the idea but then wont initiate punishment without me first asking for it :( in my view that defeats the object. Im trying to find balance and routine in this lifestyle. I want to be able to relax knowing that i can trust him to step up to the plate when he needs to.

Rich Person said...

It's good to have that context for reading your blog. And, it's good to know there's hope for the long term, even if there are ups and downs!

Audra said...

Love how honest you are in your posts! And I really think its very helpful to hear experienced DD couples like you and the man still struggle with things like consistancy. I think I imagine there will be a point when we will have it all mastered perfectly...and its refreshing to know that there really isn't a "perfect" place to achieve. That its all a journey for each couple and so thank you for explaining! :-)

So excited for you to have your hubby home soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CedenoGems said...

I'm glad u are feling better about this.

Stormy said...

I completely agree, it's unique for every couple. And it's funny how everyone wants something a little different from what they have. I wrote a post about that once.
Im glad your man will be home soon...enjoy!

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