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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Spanking= Spam

Just a quick FYI. I accessed my email account and was surprised that I havent received any new emails for awhile. Turns out the word spanking some how ended up as a spam filter... so I havent gotten anything from anyone if that word was used... considering its my spankedarmywife account I find it humorous!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Action packed dreams

I am on complete pelvic rest. This means no sex or anything of the type. Poor husband. He comes home from a year away at war, gets me pregnant, complete pelvic rest. We miscarry, pelvic rest continues. Have sex once during the month of October, get pregnant again and again no sex for him. Our OB joked that we should put a sign on all of his cups, “Caution overly fertile.”

I share this because before this pregnancy I never had sexual dreams. Not ever. For some reason this pregnancy I have been having quite a few. It will make sense after I explain my most recent dream.

The star of my dreams recently has been John Wayne. Right. John Wayne. I am not sure why but he has been my leading man in every dream.  A young John Wayne mind you.

Last dream I was married to him and we were out riding our horses in the woods. We stopped by a stream and was having a picnic. I pushed him into the stream and we were both playing around and laughing. Suddenly, a man raced by on horse followed by ten other men. He was a criminal who just shot the sheriff. Of course my husband, John Wayne, took off after him and told me to stay there.

Of course I didn’t. After the bad guy was handed over we took off back through the woods. Suddenly, he was pulling his horse over. Pulled me right off my horse and went to town on my bum because I had disobeyed him. Went to town is mild. He lifted my skirts, bared my butt and brought his hand down hard, again and again. Turned my bum red, and then purple. I was begging him to stop, promising forgiveness and he just kept lecturing. When I was in a crying mess begging for forgiveness he started kissing me…and well, I woke up and told my husband that John Wayne is getting more action from me then he is.


Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Bring Him Home Santa

Last Christmas I spent missing my hero, my husband as he fought in Afghanistan. Not every soldier in his unit came home alive, not all came home with all their limbs, and none of them came home exactly how they left. The memories and effects of war will linger forever. It is an event that can’t be undone. The twelve months they spent out there changed them all, little or big.

Some of the daughters and sons of our brave warriors will never have a Christmas with their daddy or mommy again. Santa can’t bring them home.

This year, like last, there are thousands of American and allied forces fighting for their lives and our freedoms over there. While I am beyond grateful to finally have a Christmas with my husband! I can’t forget those who will be spending it alone, thousands of miles from home.

So, please, keep our troops in your thoughts and prayers. A special thank you to the little ones who wait bright eyed for their parent to return stateside, and those, who will never get another Christmas on Earth in their arms. Gone but NEVER forgotten. 

Dear Santa, I need to change my Christmas list
There's one big thing I missed
You see my Daddy's working for away from here
And I know Santa, I asked for a Barbie doll
And a brand new soccer ball
But I'd trade it all, for just one gift this year...

Bring him home Santa, bring him home to mom and me
Let us wake up Christmas morning, and find him standing by our tree
You can pick him up on your way, he could ride there in your sleigh
Don't make him spend Christmas all alone
Bring him home

And Santa, here's a picture that I drew
Of him in his dress blues
Mama says our country needs him over there
And you know Santa, this whole year I've been good
And I was hopin' that would
Do all you could to answer her prayer...

Bring him home Santa, bring him home to mom and me
Let us wake up Christmas morning, and find him standing by our tree
You can pick him up on your way, he could ride there in your sleigh
Don't make him spend Christmas all alone
Bring him home

Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home

Friday, December 16, 2011

Totally Random Updates

When we were in the hospital last week and found out about the loss of the twin we also found out that I have a subchoronic hemorrhage. From what my OB has told me and my own research, this blood clot is rather common and will either go away on its own or will cause a miscarriage, early preterm labor or other complications if it grows or doesn’t go away. I would do anything to not have any more complications! For the most part she put me on bed rest, limited walking, and no exercising or lifting, no sex, no baths.  (Shhh don’t tell Matthew but I think I miss my warm baths more than the sex haha). I have been trying really hard not to worry about it.

I recently went back to college after a seven year break. I had finals the week we found out we lost our twin. I thought I was doing fairly well. I knew I had three A's out of five but was waiting on two other grades. One of them I was so angry with, although, it was my fault for not paying attention to detail. The class a 400 level one, consisted of one paper and two test. I received a B on the first test, I had doubted myself and gone back and changed a few answers and an A on the final. I have NEVER gotten less than an A on any paper in my entire life. Well, I got my paper back and it was an 80%!! I was shocked. The prof said that the content was impeccable and it was well written, however, since my font type and size was wrong he had to deduct one entire page. It was a five page paper. Each page was worth 20%. I have an Apple and when I use word it automatically types it in cambria. Well, I have this same prof in another class (another 400 level) where we had eight papers to turn in. I received a 100 on all eight papers, and a 101% (attendance was 1% extra credit if we didn't miss a day) overall in his class. I turned in several papers to him in cambria. In this specific class he wanted times new roman with a 12 point font. Since I turned it in with cambria and it was exactly five pages he couldnt guarantee I would make the page cutoff and thus deducted an entire page from my grade! I was so upset. I couldn't believe he was so picky in one class and not at all in the other!! Anyway, I ended up with a B. 

I received my grades today and had four A's and 1 B. My overall GPA is a 3.8 I also made the dean's list. I guess I can be satisfied with that.

Matthew was gone for the last week so Ive been on bed rest, alone, with two big dogs in a three story house… with no dog food or groceries. Well I had to go get dog food (I cant believe we didn’t check that before he left) and I had enough groceries for breakfast and lunch, but ordered delivery for dinner. I ordered enough for a couple days each time so it ended up only being three times that I had to order delivery. Funny story, he’s home now, flew in late last night, had today off and we still don’t have groceries. We had Mexican (even though Im Italian and he’s Irish I swear we are having a Mexican- Chinese baby. If we are what we eat…) for dinner last night and today for lunch he asked what I wanted and was shocked when I said McDonalds.

I haven’t had McDonalds in well… years. I lost 75lbs last year and I had cut all fast food out of my diet. But yesterday while waiting for him this guy was eating McDonalds fries and needless to say the smell stuck with me. So, we got McDonalds. Don’t worry I ordered apples too! He had to run into work to do some paperwork but I know we are getting groceries tomorrow. Tonight we are going on a date night. The doctor mainly wanted me to stay off my feet and I convinced Matthew that there isn’t much difference in sitting at a table at home for dinner and sitting at one out, or sitting on the couch and sitting in a chair watching a movie. Really Ive been stir crazy sitting in my house for a week and I refuse to ask for help and because of that I couldn’t do anything about the build up of dog hair, dust, dirty clothes etc so I didn’t have anyone over. Been rather lonely. Im feeling up for it and promised him if I didn’t I would let him know.

I am so paranoid about our appointment on Monday. Four out of our six miscarriages we found out at the ten week appointment that the baby had slowed growth, the heart rate was too low to sustain and we were going to miscarry... which always happened, normally within three weeks, and once sixteen weeks later! With all of my previous miscarriages the hcg wasn’t doubling right and this time it did, and with all of them the h/r was always low to begin with but this one was 167 at 8 weeks. So, Im hoping since this one has been radically different everything is going to be ok. But, with the subchoronic and the loss last week and my history Im very scared. To be honest I don’t think I can handle another miscarriage. I already feel like I’ve bonded and grown to love this baby so much and it would devastate me, Im not sure I could recover again... or I would want to. I’ve been doing a really good job not thinking about it and being calm and peaceful but every now and again the fear pokes in.

So, that’s about where I am right now. I had a crazy dream last night that included spanking… I think Ill blog about that separately. I’m sure it will get a laugh or two. I know I giggled this morning.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Vanishing Twin Syndrome

Yesterday I was bleeding pretty bad and cramping. For the past three days Ive been in a lot of pain, shaking, weak and just not right. I went to the E.R. last night, not our normal but the closest and to make a long story short found out we were carrying twins. The reason my HCG had tripled instead of doubled in the beginning of the pregnancy was because there were two babies.

The second baby, like my previous miscarriages, was not developing on schedule at all. So when we did the ultrasounds he never showed up. The reason I was cramping and bleeding was because I had a hidden twin inside.The syndrome was killed “Vanishing Twin Syndrome.” I had never heard of this before.

The other baby is doing good. I am eight weeks today but he measured 8 weeks 2 days last night, had a heartbeat of 167 and an hcg of 92,000.

It was very bittersweet. I didn’t know I was carrying twins and finding out the same day I lost one was hard. But we have had no live births and we really want a child, so knowing the other baby is currently happy and developing well is very good news. Bittersweet. Still praying very hard for this baby! Id love to have a healthy baby to finally hold in my arms.