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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Life Has Been CRAZY

Our little man with a smile on his face.

Hi everyone!
Matthew reminded me that I hadn't blogged in awhile and I realized I hadn't either. He's been pretty funny lately awaiting our little guy. He jokes about putting together a checklist of reasons to spank me- just because. Sometimes he walks by and swats my butt with a chuckle. We are 26 weeks pregnant now with our little man. He is frank breech and we've been begging him to turn. We get regular ultrasounds and Ive had preterm labor now three times :/ Lots of time in the hospital. Im finishing up this semester at the end of the month and then taking a couple off while we finish preparing for him.

Toes in front of his face.

Frank breech means that he is holding his legs up above his head and his butt is down. He has been this way our entire pregnancy as far as we know. Because of my medication a regular c-section is out of the question. So I either have to do a vaginal birth(which I want) and I can't have an epidural either due to the meds or I have to be fully put under and Matthew wouldnt be allowed in the room when he's born. We will do whatever is healthiest for him but Id prefer to have as natural of a birth as possible. The other issue is that because of how he is they cant exactly turn him manually and we arent too keen on that idea. Im just happy everything else looks so good right now! The cyst in his brain has gone away completely. After as many devastating losses as we have had...

Ive been so stressed the last couple of weeks. Last week was the 9th anniversary of my moms death, midterms and Matthew left for the field. He wont be back for a couple weeks. Our furthest pregnancy resulted in the stillbirth of our little boy at 26 weeks and Im 26 weeks now. I went to bed one night and woke up in the hospital. I had hemorrhaged, lost a ton of blood and our son was born asleep. Needless to say right now Im a bit paranoid. Im hopefully, believing in the power of prayer, and overly reliant on the heart doppler Matthew bought me.

I'm so stressed out that I got a B on one of my midterms :( I never get B's. My professor assured me that I could still get an A in his class but it really bothered me. Im trying to destress and would love any suggestions anyone might have in that area. Man Id love a good old fashioned spanking right now because in the past when Ive gotten extremely stressed Ive just had to ask and it released so much in me.

Being as high risk as we are Matthew is scared to spank me and well it would freak me out too. He swats now and again gently but hes really been working on his lecture skills :/ Although Ive been so good (or so busy?!) that he hasnt had to really correct me at all.