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Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Today is a new day

We talked last night, really talked. As is the norm in our lifestyle, he is away for several weeks. He said he does want DD in our lives and we both agree our marriage is much better in it. He wants one more chance to get it right and to really work on it, reminding me, I am his only experience in all of this. Of course I've given him article after article, blog after blog and forum after forum to explore over the last eleven years. It is hard for him to reach out, ask for a mentor or talk about all of this. It's so taboo in our world.

We discussed taking it slow, communicating more and lower expectations until we have a routine in place. I had gotten one heck of a spanking a couple months back for texting and driving. A crazy bad habit I had gotten into and I know I was in the wrong. It's not like the man doesn't know how to spank. We have a basement that works perfectly, put the kids to bed and we can go down there and they don't hear anything.

Anyway, it was getting late last night during our discussion and sleep has been an issue for me lately. I just don't get any rest. I'm ran down and exhausted a lot. He pretty firmly told me it was time to close everything up for the night and go to bed. That's what I want need in my life. I am a responsible, independent woman who takes care of everything when he is gone for months and years at a time. I've always been in leadership positions outside of the home and I would like to think of myself as intellectual. I've always struggled with self-worth, self-esteem and accountability when it comes to myself. I take care of the world and neglect me. That is one of the reasons I knew I needed a strong, dominant man to marry. I would walk all over and control anything less.

I received a text from him earlier that set my heart aflutter.

I wanted to also hit on my stories. I've had several emails about the different stories I have written on here that I have taken off. I have decided that I am going to finish the novels and hopefully get them published! I really appreciate all my followers who have encouraged and loved my writings. When Spanking Classics went down, with it went many books I have written over the years.

I will post short stories from time to time and excerpts from the books. Wish me luck! As you all know this is something I have been wanting to do for a long, long time but never took myself seriously. A friend of mine that many of you know, Sugar Anne, told me that "The Trainer" inspired her to go out and write and now she is a published author. She called, "The Trainer" a "sci-fi masterpiece" and I do believe that compliment is the best one I have ever gotten.

Thank you all for welcoming me back to blogging with open arms,


Dragon's Rose said...

A real person to talk to helps but this is such a taboo that it is hard to find anyone willing to speak up. Blog land is one thing. Good luck. I love the yes sir reminder. There is hope!

Anonymous said...

Hello SAW, I just found your blog and it was encouraging to read the struggle your HoH has about DD. It was good as this is all new to us and me and my spouse are in the same struggle. I know how good it would be for us but he is being very careful with it. Good luck on publishing your books look forward to more posts. I am journaling our experience as well if you care to take a look ;)

Mala said...

Ah... those text messages made me smile.. !!

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